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Never Be the Same
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Never Be the Same
Synopsis
They say opposites attract. They aren’t kidding.
When Casey meets Olivia—the actress she’s driving around for two weeks—she figures it’s going to be all business. Sure, Olivia’s hot and has women throwing themselves at her feet, but Casey is only interested in making the money she needs before going back to Portland. London is full of painful memories, and anyway, perfectly put together celebrities are not really her thing.
Olivia loves being “Susie,” her TV alter ego. She’s sassy, sexy, and never short of admirers, but living her life in the public eye is taking its toll. When her new driver turns out to be tall, dark, and undeniably handsome, Olivia is intrigued. But Casey seems like she has something to hide, and the last thing Olivia needs is someone she can’t trust.
What Reviewers Say About MA Binfield’s Work
Not This Time
“I have to say, MA Binfield knows how to write yearning. Sofi and Maddie circle around their feelings for each other throughout the book, and the tension is delicious. I was definitely kept up past my bedtime because I couldn’t wait to read the next angsty chapter.”—Lesbian Review
One Small Step
“I really loved this book and the gradual way Iris and Cameron’s relationship builds. It feels very authentic as they both gain confidence from their genuine care for one another. The author takes time to carefully build something real between the two of these women. This book kept me intrigued.”—Bookvark
“I lost myself in Iris and Cam’s growing feelings and doubts in a very enjoyable way. They’re both endearing characters, and the web of friends and teammates around them is full of interesting people.”—Jude in the Stars
“The author crafts a deeply emotional romance that is as grounded in stark reality as it is elevated by the ethereal nature of love. …One Small Step is a tremendous romance début. MA Binfield’s portrayal of a couple in search of the courage to fight for the love that they deserve is written with sheer honesty, humor, and heart.”—All About Romance
Never Be the Same
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By the Author
One Small Step
Not This Time
Never Be the Same
Never Be The Same
© 2021 By MA Binfield. All Rights Reserved.
ISBN 13: 978-1-63555-939-2
This Electronic Original Is Published By
Bold Strokes Books, Inc.
P.o. Box 249
Valley Falls, Ny 12185
First Edition: August 2021
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Credits
Editor: Cindy Cresap
Production Design: Susan Ramundo
Cover Design By Tammy Seidick
eBook Design By Toni Whitaker
Acknowledgments
Huge thanks to my editor, Cindy Cresap, who improved this book immeasurably, and is still helping me with my Britishisms and comma splice with a good deal of patience.
A socially distanced hug to all the wonderful people at Bold Strokes Books, who make this whole thing a lot easier for us authors, and who make me feel proud to be part of the BSB family.
I miss London and I miss Brighton—in fact, I miss everywhere that isn’t my house right now—so I’m grateful for the opportunity to revisit some favorite haunts with this book. Watching the sunset on the beach next to the crumbling West Pier is highly recommended, as are the seafront fish and chips! And although Café Brunest is long gone, I still hanker after Estelle’s pies.
Finally, to EVERYONE on the frontline during this dreadful pandemic—whether you’re a part of our wonderful NHS, working in retail, keeping the trains and tubes running, or caring for the vulnerable—I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Every one of you has my admiration.
Dedication
For Helen Lewis, with love
Chapter One
Casey felt grimy and more than a little grouchy. Her clothes looked like she’d slept in them—which she had, sort of, if you added up the various catnaps she’d managed during the flight—and being back in London meant not just dealing with her mom’s latest mess, but facing everything she’d up and walked away from a year ago.
She loaded her suitcases onto a trolley. At least she’d arrived in time for Pride and she would get to see David. She resolved to fix her mood and try to count her blessings. She pushed the trolley toward the arrivals hall.
“Ow.” Casey felt a sharp pain across the back of her calves as something hit her from behind. She turned, ready to let off a stream of expletives, and found herself face-to-face with a blond-haired woman gripping a trolley laden with a huge pile of suitcases. Casey had enough good manners to swallow the curse words she’d been ready to offer.
“I’m sorry, I lost control. It’s too heavy to steer properly. I hope I didn’t hurt you.” The voice was breathy, the accent American, somewhere southern.
“It’s okay.” Casey fought the urge to lean down and rub her legs where the low metal bar at the front of the trolley had hit her. “It does look pretty heavy.” Casey pointed at it. “Here for the weekend?” She tried for a joke.
The woman—perfectly turned out in a blue summer dress with accessories fully coordinated—was now looking at Casey with a seductive smile. She was attractive and she knew it.
“I’m running away.” She lifted a sculpted eyebrow. “Want to come? I surely could do with a handsome stranger to make the adventure a little more exciting.”
Casey blinked.
It’d taken a while, but she’d eventually gotten used to the forwardness of women in the States, and she’d gotten very good at deflecting. But she hadn’t been expecting a come-on like this in London. And not at the airport. So now she was gawping at the woman rather than coming back with some witty flirtatious banter of her own. Not that witty flirtatious banter had ever been her thing.
“It was worth a try.” The woman spoke into the silence, moving her trolley backward and forward to illustrate what she meant. She smiled. “Hope it didn’t hurt too much, but sometimes a gal’s gotta try. I saw you from across the hall and couldn’t resist introducing myself.”
“It hurt.” Casey found words finally. There was a compliment somewhere amongst the woman’s madness. “Next time just ask for a phone number before that whole assault-a-stranger-with-a-trolley move.”
“Can I have your number?” The woman winked.
This time Casey laughed.
“You’re something else.” Casey guessed the woman was looking for a bit of no-strings-attached fun. But she had also just rammed Casey with her trolley in the hope of an introduction. She shook her head. “Sorry. My girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate that.” It was a lie. Casey was as single as the Pope, but right then, it seemed like the safest response.
“Okay.” The woman U-turned her trolley with surprising ease. “But you’re a honey. Tell her she’s a very lucky woman.” She moved away, leaving Casey bemused. She ran a hand down her wrinkled shirt. She wasn’t
feeling much like a honey.
She tried to let herself be flattered by the attention, but Casey wasn’t one of those women who felt comfortable with a big come-on like that. She was a meaningful glances, hidden feelings, and long courtship kind of woman. She shook her head. Maybe things would be easier if she wasn’t.
Casey made her way toward the exit, ready for the shock to her system that the chaos behind the doors would provide. She glanced at her watch with a yawn. It was still on Portland time and told her that it was three a.m. She willed herself awake and pushed her trolley out into the hall, blinking as she took in the scene in front of her. Families festooned with balloons and welcome signs. Rows of vigilantly bored drivers standing along the edge of the exit walkway holding up names hopefully. And ahead of her, dozens of café tables overflowing with people, reminding her that a strong black coffee was just what her body needed.
Heathrow wasn’t that much different from any other airport of course—just big and busy, like the rest of London. She’d had no choice but to leave all this behind a year ago, and while she’d missed some of her friends—and even her mom—there wasn’t all that much of this noisy, congested, snake pit of a city that she missed. But London was where she was, and she was going to get done what she needed to get done and leave as quickly as she could.
Casey made herself scan the signs properly and caught her name in large red letters on the screen of a tablet held by a tall man in a smart gray uniform wearing a chauffeur’s cap. She approached him and he smiled warmly. Jeez, he was handsome. David had obviously started to recruit Abercrombie & Fitch models as his drivers now. Nice.
“David sent me for you. He’s waiting in the car upstairs.” Handsome model guy smiled again. “He said to make sure we bring him a coffee.”
“Sounds like David.” She laughed. The idea of seeing him lifted her mood.
This trip to London hadn’t been planned. Her mom had had another crisis, and according to her brother—who lived a lot closer than the fourteen bloody hours it had so far taken her to get here—needed help. Help he was seemingly unwilling to give her. Casey had vacation days in the bank, and Gina had happily agreed to some extra leave, giving her a month to sort things out and get back home to Portland.
In fact, Gina had been a little too happy to agree to the time off, suggesting Casey needed “some proper rest and recreation.” The last two words said with the kind of smirk that only Gina—a serial womanizer—could get away with. But Casey needed a clear head to deal with what being back in London was going to throw at her. And she wasn’t sure that the kind of “recreation” Gina had in mind would help with that. She picked up the coffees and followed her driver and her trolley into the elevators to the parking garages.
“Hey, handsome.” Casey could see David scrolling through his phone while leaning against the side of a shiny black Bentley. He looked up at the sound of her voice and then moved quickly toward her, arms outstretched to wrap her into a big hug.
Casey was tall—five eleven in her socks—but David was a big bear of a man and one of the few people capable of making her feel petite. She let herself enjoy the feel of him. She missed sex—though she’d never admit it to Gina—but she missed being held like this almost as much.
He pulled away and put his hands on her shoulders.
“You look well. You’ve lost some weight but somehow kept all those muscles.” He squeezed her arm. “I thought you’d be as big as me by now eating all that mac ’n’ cheese.” He patted his round stomach. “Got any weight loss tips?”
Casey laughed. “I have, but none you’d thank me for. Gina’s persuaded me to go vegan. No butter, no cream, definitely no mac ’n’ cheese.”
“Gina’s a great boss, but she is the roommate from hell. I figured that out when she tried to make me eat kale salad as if it was an actual meal.” He raised an eyebrow, the picture of camp. “But since you’re not sleeping with her, you don’t need to try to impress her with all that healthy living crap.”
“She’s the only one of us that can cook. Her food is better than anything I’d ruin, vegan or not. I’m letting her feel like she’s improving me, while also getting her to cook all my meals.” Casey smiled. “And I can always grab a burger when I’m out if I’m feeling the need for something meaty.”
“Oh, Casey, I’m trying so hard not to tell you just how often I feel the need for something meaty.”
“Ew. I might have missed you, but I have not missed your penis-related double entendres.”
He took a bow before opening the car door.
“Come on, the traffic on the M4 is crazy today. We’ll have plenty of time to catch up on the way. Mikey.” David pointed at the trolley. “Help the lady with her luggage.” He winked at Casey. She bristled as David expected her to.
“I can manage, Mikey, thanks.” He popped the trunk, and she hauled her suitcases inside with ease. She could handle her own luggage.
Casey settled into the back seat with David as Mikey pulled out of the parking space and headed for the exit.
“Thanks for meeting me. It feels very weird to be back.”
“I bet, but it’s good to see you. I might be too much of a Brit to say it as often as I should, but I miss you.”
“I miss you too. And thanks for finding me some work too. Mom’s in a crazy mess and I really need the extra cash. There’s a chance she might lose the house.” Casey had told him most of the sorry saga a couple of weeks before.
“I’m happy to have you back. You were always one of my most popular drivers. And it’s brilliant to have another woman on the team because some customers actively ask for one.”
“You sound like a pimp.”
He laughed. “I am. Of sorts. I’m serious though. I’ve only got two women drivers, and one of them only wants to work daytimes. The number of times we’ve had to turn down some Chinese billionaire because he won’t trust a male driver to take his daughters to Harry Potter World.” He grinned. “Okay, so it’s only happened once, but it still upset me. And what with you fluent in all those languages, you’re a real asset.”
“Yeah, that’s right. I can do Cockney, three sentences of French, and a lot of bad language.” For different reasons, neither of them had done well at school. It was a standing joke between them. And a small miracle they’d both done okay for themselves.
“You’ll need the bad language. London drivers haven’t got any better while you’ve been gone.” He nudged her. “But I’ve got the best job for you, starting tomorrow, for two weeks.” He bounced a little in his seat and Casey couldn’t help but smile. “You’re going to love it.”
“Cool.” She doubted she would, but she wasn’t in a position to be turning down work. She’d never enjoyed driving. It was what she’d done when her chosen career was no longer possible. And somehow driving always reminded her of that—of the loss, of having the job she’d loved taken away from her.
“Actors, actresses. In London for some promotional work and filming an episode of their hottest-thing-in-town queer TV show. The West Side. Even you must have heard of that one. They need a hottest-thing-in-town queer driver, and I thought you’d be perfect.”
“Actors? A TV show?” Casey frowned. “I mean, I’ll do it obviously, but I don’t even own a TV. I hope they’re not going to expect me to sound interested.”
“There’ll be lesbians. Attractive ones. And they’re going to love you in that chauffeur’s cap. It’s the best welcome home job I could have given you. You could try to look a bit more grateful.” He smiled as he said it.
“I’m not wearing the cap.” Casey had had this conversation with him already. “I’ll wear the suit—minus the tie—but not the cap. And since it seems I’m the only queer woman driver you have for this very important job, I think I’m in the ‘driving seat’ when it comes to dictating terms.” She took as much of a seated bow as her seat belt would allow.
She sighed. The last thing she wanted was to be driving around a bunch of status-obsessed airheads pretending to hate their privacy being invaded, while ringing ahead to make sure the paparazzi caught their every move. She stifled a yawn. She was tired, but now she was cranky too. The West Side? She’d never heard of it.
David ended the call.
“Oh yeah, something else I meant to tell you. The schedule for the TV people is really full on, so I’ve asked Tania to help you out.”
He had a sheepish look on his face, and Casey waited, knowing there was more.
“And they decided they wanted one of the drivers to live in so they were available for short notice work and early starts. Tania can’t do it because of her kids, so…”
“A live-in driver?”
“Yeah, you’ll be staying at the hotel with them for the next two weeks, not at my place. I should have said. It’s much more lucrative for you. And for me. They’re paying a lot just to have you on call. The hotel is super swanky. Spa, sauna, gym, pool. You’ll love it. Better than my spare room with its saggy mattress.”
“With them? I’m staying where they’re all staying? And I need to be available to drive them any time of day or night?”
“Not any time day or night. But unsocial hours definitely. I hope that’s okay. It’s super well paid, Casey.”
Casey couldn’t think of anything worse than being at the beck and call of a bunch of bratty actors, but she needed the money, and right then, the idea of taking advantage of the sauna to steam the tension from her muscles after the long flight sounded like heaven.
Not This Time
One Small Step
Never Be the Same